See, how much I love you guys . . . I’m letting you in on my hairspray addiction!
I loved myself at sixteen. He loved me too. Only I didn’t realize it at the time.
I was a sophomore in high school, a Junior Varsity cheerleader, and an editor for the school newspaper. I maintained a 4.0 GPA and still managed to hang with my best friend during the weekends. I knew everything about everything. Especially LOVE. I was sixteen after all.
Let me tell you a little about my best friend.
I met him when I was ten. He lived three houses down from mine. We spent our days playing Super Mario Brothers, shooting hoops, and watching movies like Pretty in Pink and Saint Elmo’s Fire. Then there were the long walks to the park. Sometimes in the rain. Where we would philosophize on how we’d change the world if we became president. Or, the time I told him to meet me at the corner because my mom cut eight inches off my hair and he listened to me ugly cry the entire hour.
He was set apart from the beginning. A true gentlemen. He was physically developed and highly intelligent. Accomplished in both the areas of science and art. Nothing like the other boys who were only interested in learning how to unhook a bra. Instead he helped me perfect my French and better understand the Pythagoras Theorem. He was my Renaissance Man. Our friendship grew stronger and stronger with each passing year. That is, until he moved away for college.
I hated myself at eighteen. I was a senior and felt abandoned by my best friend. Renaissance Man no longer lived around the corner from me. I thought I lost him FOREVER. The same boy I broke a turkey wish bone with in 1987.
Fortunately, I was wrong. After being apart for so long our paths finally intersected in June of 1993. Renaissance Man surprised me with a visit on graduation day. This time around I didn’t let him leave before declaring my love for him. We got married the following year without a penny to our name. I should mention that were it not for Renaissance Man’s parents, we probably wouldn’t have had a roof over our heads either.
Me, at age 21. I was already married for two years.
I loved myself again at twenty one. I already had two years of marriage under my belt and was settling into my role as a wife. Other girls I knew at that age spent their weekends hooking up with wannabe Kurt Cobain types at dive bars. Not me. I was busy fixing my husband the meanest Hamburger Helper anyone’s ever tasted.
Decades later, I am still the same girl. The one who fell head over heels for the boy next door. Perhaps a bit more tired. A bit shorter on patience. But, I love waking up to the same man every morning. Combined, Renaissance Man and I have two kids, four dusty diplomas, dozens of scars from heartbreak warfare, and eighteen years of marriage. Combined, we have one of the longest running friendships I know.
This is a special time of year for us. February 15th marks the twentieth anniversary of our FIRST kiss. So, while everyone else is celebrating hearts and chocolate today, we’ll be waiting to celebrate tomorrow.
* * * * * * * * * * *
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Nice post- a story for the Valentine Day.
Posted by Vikas Yadav | February 14, 2013, 6:40 amThanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Vikas!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 4:24 pmWow! You looked like a model even then! My high school pictures are truly frightening! Ha Ha!
Posted by momtimes4 | February 14, 2013, 6:51 amYou’re too kind! But according to my kids, my sixteen year old self was actually quite frightening. Hope you and your family had a lovely Heart Day!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 4:26 pmOh, that is so sweet! I love those stories…real life romance novels. Congratulations on your friendship and happy day after Valentine’s Day!
(I almost cried…maybe I welled up a little)
Posted by Gardengirl | February 14, 2013, 6:51 amThanks for reading Julie! And yes, the day AFTER Valentine’s is definitely more meaningful than today. Hope you’re having a lovely evening!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 4:29 pmquiet for a while…the kids went to DQ with the gift cards we got them
Posted by Gardengirl | February 14, 2013, 4:32 pmAw, lucky! My husband still isn’t home yet. I think we’ll just take the kids out for a family fun night. I’m not in the mood to cook.
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 4:33 pmSounds like fun. We had sausage and eggs and toast because I didn’t feel like cooking either.
Posted by Gardengirl | February 14, 2013, 4:40 pmWe LOVE having breakfast for dinner too!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 4:42 pmGood one!
Posted by Gardengirl | February 14, 2013, 4:44 pmJust beautiful!!!! And of course, we both married and our best friends. And of course, we have both been married 18 years! You really are my cyber soul sister! Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Renaissance Man!
Posted by littlemisswordy | February 14, 2013, 6:53 amI had no idea that you were married for 18 years too! We truly are cyber soul sisters. Knowing that we have this in common makes my heart so happy! Hugs to you my friend! Have a wonderful weekend celebrating your love from youth!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 11:01 amThis makes my heart happy. Thanks for sharing it!
Posted by The Mom | February 14, 2013, 7:06 amAw, thank you for the sweet comment. You made my day even brighter!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 11:20 amBeautiful love story!
Posted by reaching4hishem | February 14, 2013, 7:17 amThanks for reading! Especially since you’ve got your hands full with your newest edition. Wishing you and your gorgeous family much love today and everyday after!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 11:21 amYou’re so sweet Anka! I love your spirit, thanks so much! Much love to you and your family as well! And happy first kiss to you and Renaissance Man tomorrow:-)
Posted by reaching4hishem | February 14, 2013, 12:14 pmOh boy Anka….tears in my eyes as I write this! You know I am a sucker for a good love story and boy does this one deliver! I knew you grew up close by to each other and had been married for 18 years but all the details are delicious! It is absolutely amazing to find people who met as kids and grew up and married each other. I love girl/boy childhood friendships but it seems in the movies someone dies before they can get married or something tragic happens…this had a wonderful ending….and the story is still going! Also, what beautiful pictures! Were you a model?
Posted by motherhoodisanart | February 14, 2013, 7:41 amThankfully our story has continued on, Melissa. I consider it a HUGE blessing marrying my first and only love. I think you know the value of being married to your best friend too. You and your hubby seem to have a great relationship. As for the last question, can I plead the fifth?
Posted by Anka | February 15, 2013, 7:52 amWhat???? No!!!! You have to fill me in on this! Was it a great experience? Are you still a model? Oh my goodness, I can’t believe you have been holding out on this story! haha!! I am just kidding! You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but it sounds like such an interesting story!
Posted by motherhoodisanart | February 15, 2013, 8:11 amMelissa, you gotta way of getting things out of me. It must be that warm and trusting SMILE of yours. The short version is that, yes, I did model during my youth. Between the ages of thirteen through seventeen. It was both a beautiful experience and an ugly one. Perhaps one day, I’ll be brave enough to discuss the scars that it left on my teenage heart. Thanks for always being a listening ear. I appreciate your friendship!
Posted by Anka | February 15, 2013, 8:15 amOh, I’m so sorry to hear that! Considering I am 5’0 and have never been able to pull off anything “fashionable” it sounds like such a glamorous life to me and an ego booster knowing so many people find you beautiful. Every story has two sides to it so I should have known better that it couldn’t all be a bed of roses. I hope as the years have gone by the scars have faded a bit and that it has not held you back on achieving everything you clearly are capable of! Best wishes to you as you celebrate with your true love today!
Posted by motherhoodisanart | February 15, 2013, 8:42 amAmazing wow post!!! Happy Valentine’s day
Posted by boomiebol | February 14, 2013, 7:48 amThat means a great deal coming from someone who is so gifted in prose. Happy Valentine’s to you Boomie!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 4:32 pmWhat a beautiful story. Happy First Kiss Anniversary!!
Posted by When the Kids Go To Bed | February 14, 2013, 7:55 amThanks for the anniversary wish! Also, for taking the time to read my post on such a busy day. May your day be filled with lots of hugs and giggles!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 11:35 amLove it. We celebrate the anniversary of our first kiss on Oct 13.
Posted by nothingbythebook | February 14, 2013, 7:56 amSee, now you got me curious. I want to know all the details. The first kiss is so magical. I’m thinking I might start a “Tell me about your first kiss” project. What’s one more thing, right? Also, I’ve been dying to read your post on HOT dads. Can’t wait to stop by later!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 11:04 amWhat a wonderful story! Happy 20th Kissiversary! Oh and you look a teenage model!
Posted by stormdan | February 14, 2013, 8:14 amHa! I like that “Kissiversary.” As for the teenage model comment, my daughter would beg to differ. She said, “Mom you were funny looking!” Gotta love it! Wishing you and your sweethearts a day full of giggles and hugs!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 11:11 amI love how you discussed how you would change the world if you were president. What great foundation blocks to build your relationship on! Dreams. Hopes. Ideals.
Posted by Chatter Master | February 14, 2013, 8:38 amInteresting that you point to that part of our story, Colleen. Our ability to dream together at a very young age has been a strong foundation for our relationship. Plus, the fact, that he’s the only person who’s seen me in action BEFORE a cup of coffee. I’m a walking disaster otherwise!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 4:38 pmCan you imagine a life with someone you can’t dream with? I can’t either.
Posted by Chatter Master | February 15, 2013, 3:12 amYou should write a romance novel, Anka–your life seems just perfect for that! What with those cherubs, and the boy next door story…wow. I am glad to know it can really happen. Happy Hearts to you both!
Posted by Charron's Chatter | February 14, 2013, 9:31 amGosh you really have the gift of exhortation. Your words are always peppered with grace. As for a book about the boy next door, I’ve already toyed with the idea. Not because my life is perfect, it’s nowhere near that in fact. It’s just because I feel my husband, my marriage is truly a gift. Happy hearts and hugs to you Charron!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 11:33 amWow, Anka!!! What a beautiful post. This should be a movie, “The Boy Next Door.” Congrats and Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your Renaissance Man! I’m curious, how come your kiss didn’t happen until Feb 15th? Maybe a separate post?
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 14, 2013, 10:42 amFunny that you mention “The Boy Next Door” because I was alternating between the titles. But since Valentine’s Day is symbolic of our FIRST kiss I went with that title instead. As for why our kiss didn’t happen till the 15th, the short version is I often had to sneak out to meet him. If I mysteriously disappeared on the 14th, I was convinced my parents would be on to me. Wishing you and your family a day full of hugs and chocolate, Amy. Lots of chocolate!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 10:57 amThanks, Anka! Yes, I will indulge in some chocolate today!
Posted by The Bumble Files | February 14, 2013, 11:12 amloved it Anka, just plain beautiful. You do actually rock in all pictures!! (hair spray or no hairspray). Happy Anniversary to you and your better half xxx T
Posted by wonderlandbytatu | February 14, 2013, 10:50 amThanks for your gracious words Tatu! I think if you grew up in the ’80′s it’s safe to assume that you had a love affair with hairspray. It’s wonderful to hear from you my friend!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 10:54 amI read every single post you write, but sometimes I lack the luxury of time to comment…I was thinking about you though as N. had the MAN FLU and I was silently laughing of how right you were!
Posted by wonderlandbytatu | February 14, 2013, 11:03 amGosh, I know how you feel. I try to keep up with ALL my favorite blogs, yours included, but some days it seems impossible. So, if I ever click a ‘like’ please know it’s because I probably have a screaming toddler at my feet!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 11:06 amAnka, this is a beautiful story. You and your husband are so fortunate. You are very correct saying that your 18 years are a long time in today’s society. You should be proud. We celebrated our 42nd in January. In our case, the love and bond grows stronger all the time. Here’s to you and your 42nd.
Nelson
Posted by Nelson - One Old Sage | February 14, 2013, 11:12 amAw, congratulations Nelson! Staying in a marriage for ten years these days is a long time much less less forty plus years. I’m sure your commitment to one another is something you’re both very proud of. Especially when divorce is so rampant. That’s not to say that marriage is easy. It’s just that in our cases, we haven’t given ourselves a way to opt out when the going gets tough. Continued blessings to you and your Mrs.
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 11:18 amThank you so much. You are right about saying that marriage isn’t easy. As I said in my blog post Happily Married for 37 Years…however we’ve been married for 42.” it takes work. If you haven’t read it, you may enjoy it.
I hope you and Renaissance Man have a great Valentines Day.
Posted by Nelson - One Old Sage | February 14, 2013, 11:33 amBeautifully written and such a wonderful story, Anka. I feel the same way about my wife as you do your husband. I tell her often how I love knowing I’m the man who gets to kiss her each day. I love the way to told your story, and can’t help but feel really happy for you both. Tomorrow’s going to be awesome! Cheers to you and the love you share!
Posted by Ned's Blog | February 14, 2013, 11:22 amThanks, Ned. In the short time that I’ve been following your blog, it’s evident that you and your wife share a special story as well. I guess we should consider ourselves blessed to have married our best friends. And yes, hopefully tomorrow I’ll be raising a glass of wine or bubbly to commemorate my first kiss!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 11:27 amAbsolutely — and every day
Have a wonderful First Kiss day tomorrow, Anka!
Posted by Ned's Blog | February 14, 2013, 11:34 amAbsolutely beautiful post! Thank you for sharing your true love story. Happy First Kiss Anniversary Tomorrow!
Posted by wedelmom | February 14, 2013, 11:38 amThanks for the anniversary wish! It’s hard to believe two decades have already passed. I’m starting to feel old. Hope you and your family are doing well these days. Wishing you lots of peace and rest during the transition!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 4:41 pmIt is amazing how time flies!
Thank you – we are taking one day at a time. Seems to be working so far.
Posted by wedelmom | February 15, 2013, 6:37 amHooray for you guys!! love this sweet story! i met my husband at 15. so i understand.
Posted by icescreammama | February 14, 2013, 12:27 pmWow! I didn’t know that you met your hubby at such a tender age too. I’m sure you’ve got stories to tell. But at the end of the day, there’s no one else you rather wake up to, right? Have a lovely evening!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 4:44 pmno pressure. it’s long. our meeting. hope you having lovely evening.
http://icescreammama.com/2012/07/18/my-cheap-but-so-thoughtful-anniversary-gift/
Posted by icescreammama | February 14, 2013, 5:03 pmAwe…. so great Anka. You are such a great contributor to blog land. ….and I am sure in real person too. You are so beautiful and still look even more fabulous! Happy Valentines day Anka, many blessings to you and your Reiny man.
Posted by mistymidnite | February 14, 2013, 1:51 pmEllie, you’re the sweetest! Your words are like a tall drink of water. So refreshing! Happy Valentine’s day to you my friend. Hope you and your sweethearts had a great day! P.S. I just love the nickname you gave Renaissance Man–going to have to use it in a post one day!
Posted by Anka | February 14, 2013, 4:49 pmGURL, you fly!!!! And I love, love, love this story. It’s beautifully written and the fact that you’re still happily married with a couple of kids under your belts is a true inspiration. Friendship, distance, and a leap of faith on his parents’ dime–what a romantic Valentine’s tale!!!!!!!!!!! And I’ve missed you, blogging buddy. You’re not in my inbox nearly enough.
Posted by CrazyExhaustion (@CrazyExhaustion) | February 14, 2013, 6:08 pmIt’s wonderful waking up to your comment! As for my love story, I do consider it unique. The odds of us getting married when I look back now seemed slim to none. By all accounts, our paths should’ve never crossed again. And let’s just say his parents are beyond gracious and generous. We lived with them for six months until we found a place of our own. Hoping to swing by your blog today. It’s been crazy busy around these parts lately!
Posted by Anka | February 15, 2013, 8:25 amYou’re awesome! I thought I was a young bride at 21, but you’ve got me beat. Have a wonderful anniversary tomorrow!
Posted by Kerry's Organized Chaos | February 14, 2013, 8:13 pmKerry, you were such a young bride too! My gosh we have more things in common than I realized. We love Garfield, lasagna, and boys from our youth. Am I leaving anything out?
Posted by Anka | February 15, 2013, 7:53 amDid I get the gist from your writing that you graduated in 1993? If so, another common factor. If your Renaissance Man graduated a year before that in 1992, that’s another.
Posted by Kerry's Organized Chaos | February 15, 2013, 7:49 pmYes, I did graduate in 1993. But Renaissance Man graduated in the late 80′s. No wonder we both have a penchant for graphic tees and still think we can wear things from Forever 21!
Posted by Anka | February 16, 2013, 7:12 amWhat a gorgeous story, thanks for sharing!
Lily
Posted by lly1205 | February 14, 2013, 8:54 pmLily, thanks for taking the time to read this post. Have a lovely weekend friend!
Posted by Anka | February 15, 2013, 7:59 amYou have a great weekend too! I have a whole 1.5 weeks of weekend, because its the winter reading break
Lily
Posted by lly1205 | February 15, 2013, 9:00 ambeautiful love story, never heard one like this before, wish you both many more years together/forever! You look so beautiful in your pictures
Posted by now at home mom | February 14, 2013, 10:35 pmTo be honest, I don’t think I’ve heard of a love story like this either. Sometimes I look at my husband and say, “How did this happen?” It felt like there was a sense of urgency about our love–like it was now or never. Fortunately, we didn’t miss our window. Thanks for reading Ingrid. Have a fantastic weekend!
Posted by Anka | February 15, 2013, 8:10 amHow beautiful, thank you for sharing this. Happy first kiss day!
Posted by mrs fringe | February 15, 2013, 4:54 amThanks for your kind words. I didn’t realize that it had been that long since we shared our first kiss. But, my husband reminded me earlier in the week. And now, he we are fumbling through life as parents. Some days I can’t help but still see ourselves as kids!
Posted by Anka | February 15, 2013, 8:02 amWhat a lovely blog Anka, from the age of innocence to a ‘life long love story’… I agree with some of the other comments that it should be a movie ‘The Boy Next Door’…Beautiful
Posted by Carl Milner | February 15, 2013, 5:17 amCarl, you captured the progression of my love story so beautifully. Thanks for inspiring me to potentially put pen to paper about ‘The Boy Next Door.’ Have a lovely weekend.
Posted by Anka | February 15, 2013, 8:05 amSimply beautiful! Thanks for this post
Posted by We Are 2Fit2 Quit | February 15, 2013, 5:23 amThanks for taking the time to read my story. Always nice to hear from you!
Posted by Anka | February 15, 2013, 8:07 amThis was ridiculously sweet!
Great job!
Posted by The Hook | February 16, 2013, 1:13 pmAw, I didn’t mean to write such a saccharine filled post. The truth is I just wanted to tell a coming of age love story. I’m usually not the hopeless romantic type. Glad you stopped by for a visit, Hook!
Posted by Anka | February 18, 2013, 9:18 amSo romantic, I love it! I married the guy I was good friends with years ago but didn’t date. We had different plans for our lives when we met. Years later, our paths crossed and we feel in love and got married. It was fate.
Posted by Nancy | February 16, 2013, 5:51 pmAw, Nancy I had no idea that you ended up marrying your good friend too! It was fate. I’m sure you consider yourself very lucky to have crossed paths with each other again! Thanks for sharing. Hope you and your family are doing well!
Posted by Anka | February 18, 2013, 4:56 pmThis post is magnifique!!!!! Happy anniversary to you both! May you have many many more years ahead.
Posted by pretemoiparis | February 17, 2013, 6:03 amMerci Mademoiselle! We had a great time commemorating our first kiss. Cheers to another twenty five years!
Posted by Anka | February 18, 2013, 4:47 pmFinally….. A story that ends this way! I’m always waiting for the twist.
Posted by Thoughts and Rants in Jogging Pants | February 17, 2013, 8:50 amWell, our story has had many twists and turns. And, we’ve definitely had our share of heartbreak warfare. But, at the end of the day, we’re still the closest of friends!
Posted by Anka | February 18, 2013, 4:49 pmand they lived happily ever after. Great story, you had me hooked
Posted by jai long | February 17, 2013, 11:13 pmThanks for reading my account of the boy next door! Love is a tricky thing. But when you find it, find the ONE you want to spend the rest of your life with, the real adventure begins!
Posted by Anka | February 18, 2013, 4:54 pmAaaawwwwwwwwwwwww…. That is lovely!!
Posted by ljlenehan | February 19, 2013, 10:15 amThank you kindly for that sweet sentiment! It’s good to hear from you. Hope all is well in your parts of the world!
Posted by Anka | February 20, 2013, 8:31 amVery good!! Thanks…
Posted by ljlenehan | February 20, 2013, 10:08 amLovely – congratulations too – sounds like you are a great team.
Posted by Piper George | February 24, 2013, 2:15 pmThanks Piper! We are a pretty great team. Life isn’t always a bowl of cherries. But fortunately, being married to him isn’t the pits either!
Posted by Anka | February 25, 2013, 5:58 pmHey-wow… quite the story! better than the movies… congratulations to you both! You’re beautiful. He’s lucky. Friendship is always the best way to go…
I’m still lookin’ :/
Posted by Boo-Dah-Beli | February 25, 2013, 6:25 amThanks for your gracious and kind words. Love is not always easy but having a reliable friend certainly helps with the process. As for you and your future, I’m sure it will happen when you least expect it. Just keep your eyes and heart open!
Posted by Anka | February 25, 2013, 5:57 pmI love this post Anka and thanks for stopping by mine. Amazing how vindicated in motherhood you can feel realising others go through the same madness…
I am just back from seeing the movie I Give It A Year. In it the main protagonists are told they ll be doing well to make it to a Year of marriage and that the first year’s the hardest. I reckon that was the easy one! Ten years in I have no regrets. I love your post because I think the essence is when you are meant for each other, then somehow you always find each other. Thanks for sharing your story.
Posted by emmacconway | March 2, 2013, 3:04 pmI always love stopping by your blog, Emma. But, sometimes it’s maddening at home so I can’t leave a comment. My three year is very active. As for your take on the movie, I couldn’t agree with you more. The first year of marriage is easy as pie. Anything ten years plus, really does require the growing and stretching of your character. Hope you all are doing well!
Posted by Anka | March 3, 2013, 8:27 amI am sooooo sorry I missed this wonderful post! What a great, endearing story! Lots of strong bonds and love.
But your “hairspray” pic… That’s nothing compared to what the gals were doing in the 60′s,.. They owned stock in Aquanet – as did I.
Wonderful story… and he does NOT get the man-flu. It is a figment of your imagination… lol
Posted by Mustang.Koji | March 4, 2013, 8:13 amKoji, you need to do a post that proves you owned stock in Aquanet. I’m guessing your hair added a few more inches to your overall height, right? As for my guy and the man-flu, of course he gets it! Full blown symptoms at times. That’s usually when I put on the kid gloves–need to be extra sensitive to his aches and pains!
Posted by Anka | March 6, 2013, 4:25 pmMy hair was so slick, you would get paper cuts touching it… BTW, it was unscented.
Gotta find a photo but since I always took them, I don’t know if there are any. Shucks!
Posted by Mustang.Koji | March 7, 2013, 8:21 am