He whispered in my ear. There was alarm in his voice. “Honey, wake up.” I didn’t budge, pretending not to hear. I found myself on the couch, still wearing a ruffled dress from the night before.
It was early Friday morning, December 23rd, 2011. Two days before Christmas. We had just returned from a holiday party. An evening filled with lobster, filet mignon, and dancing in the velvet lounge. There was wine too. Plenty of it. Renaissance Man and I were so busy mingling that we only saw each other in passing. The night didn’t go as planned. I fell asleep on the car ride home then stumbled to the sofa.
Photo Credit: prevention.com
He nudged me again, “Baby, wake up.”
Three in the morning was not an hour I cared for, especially after a night of celebrating. “What time is it?” I whispered. Renaissance Man looked at his wrist but realized he wasn’t wearing a watch. He glanced at the clock hanging on the living room wall. “3:05,” he said definitively. “Why are you up? Go back to bed.” I begged. “I can’t,” he said. “My nose is running and I can’t stop coughing. I’m sick. I think it’s the FLU.”
I frowned. After nearly eighteen years of marriage and only a few bouts of illness, he decided to tell me this now. Now, when I could barely see straight. NOW. When I couldn’t possibly be of use to someone who had the flu. Much less the Man Flu. A condition that’s been crippling the male species since the beginning of time, and in their minds, considered darn near fatal. What’s a girl to do? I could either:
A. Let him recoup right there in my arms. No need to put him back in bed. Tempting because I could resume sleep but I’d probably fall off the couch.
B. Turn on the T.V. Quick, hurry! Redirect his attention towards Law & Order episodes. Then I could sneak off without him noticing and crawl into bed alone.
C. Check on him every three minutes. He’ll be too weak to call for me. Maybe I’ll leave him a little bell so he could summon me at his leisure. Plus, the bell would drown out his involuntary groans.
Photo credit: worldwildlife.org
D. Get him a box of tissue. I’ll need to grab him a cup of tea and fresh pair of socks while I’m at it. Surely, we could beat this monstrosity together. A virus so severe that germs from a single Man Flu SNEEZE have been known to wipe out entire tribes of chimpanzees.
E. All the above.
Which option do you think I chose? I did what any good wife would do. I followed Renaissance Man back to the bedroom. Helped him slip into the sheets. We laid there a few minutes in the dark. He let out a couple more sniffles. Then, I gently pressed my cheek against his cheek and sealed my BIG baby with a kiss.
I’m thinking about handing out medallions to women who survive the Man Flu. Do you think women deserve a medal for indulging men when they’re sick? Especially when a guy insists there is scientific evidence to prove that his PAIN is worse than childbirth.
Well done, I loved this!
Posted by Rosie Amber | February 7, 2013, 6:20 amI’m guessing you’ve dealt with the Man Flu too?
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 8:24 amOh oh oh…the Man Flu!! Yes, I’m familiar with it and totally agree with this post. I usually end up choosing the option you did, although my bedside manner could use some work. ha ha! I have a lot less patience with a full grown man whose sick, then I do with my sick babies.
Posted by littlemisswordy | February 7, 2013, 6:29 amI’m not always gracious when it comes to grown men being sick either. Fortunately, my husband doesn’t get sick too often. Otherwise, I’d definitely park him on the couch and lock myself in the room to sleep ALONE. Hope your Thursday is full of sunshine!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 8:27 amGood job Anka!! You are an incredible wife! Honestly, wine really knocks me out so I don’t think I could have even made my way back upstairs to tuck him in properly! I think when I was the biggest trooper was when my husband had to get back surgery and it was a week before my due date with our third kid! He truly was laid up and I took care of him and the other kids! Admittedly, I didn’t do that great of a job…I think I forgot to feed him a few times….I should have gave him a bell!!!
Posted by motherhoodisanart | February 7, 2013, 6:32 amWell, to clarify, we don’t have stairs in our house. Otherwise, that would’ve been a NO go! Wine and uphill climbs do not mix. As for taking care of your hubby when he had back surgery and being a week away from giving birth, you deserve a GOLD MEDAL! After your husband finished recovering, I’m sure you could’ve used a bell!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 8:38 amOh my god – the Man Flu is THE WORST!!!!!!
Posted by momtimes4 | February 7, 2013, 6:40 amThe Man Flu is horrible! When men get sick, they really think they’re dying. Imagine if they actually had to experience ONE labor contraction. Yikes!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 8:32 amI cannot even imagine…..truly frightening!
Posted by momtimes4 | February 7, 2013, 10:11 amLOL! This is hilarious! Apparently my bedside manner isn’t very good. Travis called me “Florence-frickin’-Nightingale” in a voice heavily laden with sarcasm!
Posted by Running from Hell with El | February 7, 2013, 6:40 amWell, Florence Nightingale was considered a ‘ministering angel.’ She was also a progressive woman. Travis might be onto to something. Even if his tone was laden with sarcasm!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 8:50 amWell done! And the man flu comes in many disguises, right?
Posted by tiny lessons blog | February 7, 2013, 6:45 amThe Man Flu absolutely comes in many disguises. I think the biggest misdiagnosis is that the man in question is actually suffering from neglect. There’s nothing a little attention and affection can’t cure, right?
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 8:54 amB. right? Tell me it was B…
Posted by nothingbythebook | February 7, 2013, 7:55 amI wish the answer was B. Then I would’ve been able to sleep ALONE. I decided to coddle my guy instead. Believe me, that’s not always the case when he’s sick!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 8:57 amI guess he’s lucky/happy it wasn’t B. (I would have done B… even in Valentine’s February.
)
Posted by nothingbythebook | February 7, 2013, 9:36 amOK, I have to stick up for the guys here! The man flu is horrid. It robs our bodies of our very essence of being. We fight it and fight it and then we just give in and take our punishment. (OK maybe not like a man but we still take our punishment.) At this unfortunate time, a little sympathy is in order. (Granted we’re going to get little sympathy so I guess I’m on the right track.)
We know you may have kids running around the house, errands to run, and a life to live but “Hey, I’m sick over here!”. (I know. If I’m well enough to bitch and moan, I’m probably well enough to get that cup of tea I asked for but still…)
*cough* *cough* Does my head feel hot to you?
Posted by One Old Sage | February 7, 2013, 8:06 amHa! A spot on synopsis of the Man Flu. I’m guessing you’ve suffered from this curious ailment on more than one occasion. Just a helpful tip on how to illicit more sympathy. Try to tone down the complaining and I’m confident that the Misses will be rushing to your aid. A hot cup of tea in hand and all!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 9:04 amYou clearly haven’t met my beloved.
I did enjoy your post.
Posted by One Old Sage | February 7, 2013, 9:35 amOh dear, clearly I am a bad wife. Mr G gets his own lemsip when he is poorly. I wake for children, not adults, unless you can see bone. And even then, I may have to get a coffee before I am willing to discuss the matter!
Posted by Piper George | February 7, 2013, 9:26 amPiper, that’s too funny! Grabbing a coffee before tending to an injury. I probably would’ve done the same thing if it we’re broad daylight. I think my wine drunken stupor contributed to me being more amorous than usual!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 9:33 amYou have to watch that wine! Sneaky stuff, makes you do things you wouldn’t normally consider
Posted by Piper George | February 7, 2013, 9:57 amOh! the man flu, you should see my hubby when he’s sick; a real baby! you were very nice with your hubby; lying down next to him, so nice!
Posted by now at home mom | February 7, 2013, 9:53 amIngrid, you have a Man BABY too! I love it! Imagine if our men, God forbid, ever had to endure a contraction? It would be lights out. But, then again, men are stronger in other ways I suppose. Like being able to lift heavy boxes without groaning!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 4:52 pmDooohh… You gals are brutal here! lol
Posted by Mustang.Koji | February 7, 2013, 9:59 amOh, it’s all in good fun! I promise. But, I couldn’t resist telling this story because almost EVERY single woman has dealt with a BIG baby at some point in her life!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 4:49 pm…and we MEN don’t? Let’s ask Ricky Ricardo! LMAO
Posted by Mustang.Koji | February 8, 2013, 10:40 amThis post is bringing back memories of the birth of my son. My children’s father was briefly hospitalised for a minor ailment as I gave birth then spent the next 2 weeks telling anyone who’d listen that what he’d experienced was worse than childbirth. If he only knew. Glad you survived your ordeal. .
Posted by Nnena@NordicBLACK | February 7, 2013, 10:27 amSee, there you have it. A perfect illustration of a man who thinks his pain is unparalleled. He made this declaration coming off the heels of you giving birth no less. If he only knew a woman’s work during labor, he might not be so quick to shout his pain from the rooftops! Funny story. Thanks for sharing!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 7:17 pmPhew, glad you made it through!!! Been there — even after all of my chemo, surgeries, etc., a man papercut still seems to trump my pain.
You’re a good wife to have chosen option E! Thanks for the chuckle, Anka!
Posted by Cancer in My Thirties | February 7, 2013, 10:49 amIf anyone deserves a medal, a standing ovation, it’s you my friend. In the short period of time that I’ve known you, I can say without a doubt that you’re a HERO. A poster girl for resilience. As for men and their tolerance for pain, I’m sure they would groan just as loud over a teeny tiny papercut!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 4:46 pmYeah, medals galore… I coped with a flu alone, but when my boyfriend had the same thing he needed help!
Posted by lly1205 | February 7, 2013, 11:20 amLily, sounds like deserve a medal as well. I bet when your guy was sick, he wouldn’t stop pestering you for attention. Probably made you check his temperature dozens of times!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 4:56 pmOh, Anka, this was incredible! I didn’t think I could love you any more, but this puts you over the top! I’m all in favor of you handing out awards to those of us who have dealt with The Man Flu.
Posted by whencrazymeetsexhaustion | February 7, 2013, 11:21 amOohhh, bloggy love! I feel it. I LOVE it. Thanks doll! As soon as the awards are printed, you will be the FIRST to receive one. Not only because you take care of your man when he’s sick, but because you’ve been battling the plague yourself. Get better soon!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 5:06 pmI’m not sure, but I think my nose might be in the running for the flu. Go ahead and get my wife’s medallion ready
Posted by Ned's Blog | February 7, 2013, 2:47 pmYour nose, huh? Well, that sounds pretty serious. I’ll get on that medallion right away. I’m sure your wife’s medal of honor is long overdue!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 5:13 pmI agree — and I’m sure she would, too
Posted by Ned's Blog | February 7, 2013, 5:15 pmWhat a really nice post Anka! I like your choice E. You have such a great and creative way of wrapping up your posts with such grace. So talented you are. I’m sure your reiny man appreciates you… however, Im curious how did you handle the next morning from all that wine? Ha…. Oh, and btw, If you read my last comment from my post … it was meant a positive comment !!
Posted by mistymidnite | February 7, 2013, 4:15 pmHey, that’s catchy, Ellie. I like the nickname “Reiny Man!” Just might have to use it! As for the next morning, I popped in a couple of Advil’s and drank some water, then it was business as usual. Speaking of water, I enjoyed reading the last part of your comment. It’s true, I only go into the ocean knee deep. Now, if we’re talking about a pool, that’s another story. I’d dive right in!
Posted by Anka | February 7, 2013, 7:24 pm
Posted by mistymidnite | February 7, 2013, 7:34 pmLOL, nicely done. Personally, I go for a B/D blend. Tissues, tea, TV, “good night!”
Posted by mrs fringe | February 10, 2013, 5:31 amI love it! The three “T’s.” I’ll have to remember the triple T acronym the next time my guy gets sick. Hope all is well in your world this Sunday afternoon!
Posted by Anka | February 10, 2013, 10:18 am
Posted by mrs fringe | February 10, 2013, 10:22 amAw, poor baby. Hope Flower Child gets better quick and you get to leave the couch. At least to make a pot of coffee or something. You gotta keep refueled!
Posted by Anka | February 10, 2013, 10:26 amCoffee and tea are the nectar of life, no?
Posted by mrs fringe | February 10, 2013, 12:47 pmI’m debating whether or not to show this one to Anthony, who’s always telling me it’s not just me and him. He insists that my stoicism and his . . . um, opposite of stoicism . . . are much more widespread than I understand. Understood. It sounds like he was correct. *grin*
(Of course, I’m only grinning ’cause we’re not in the throes of such a thing now!)
Posted by Deborah the Closet Monster | February 10, 2013, 5:49 pmAnthony is right yet again. Maybe hold off telling him this time around. A man’s inability to conceal his sickness is definitely more widespread than I realized. On that note, I’m happy to hear that you have a sick-free household. Also, I hope you are settling in to your new home nicely!
Posted by Anka | February 10, 2013, 5:58 pmThe IP is not too much of a complainer, (thankfully!) My dad on the other hand….. I remember one time my mom had a terrible flu/bronchitis/pneumonia/virus thing. She looked up at me at one point and announced, “If your father gets this, I’m moving out!” Luckily Dad avoided the bug and the marriage survives to this day!
Posted by Kerry's Organized Chaos | February 10, 2013, 7:27 pmKerry, I’m happy to hear that your hubby is not a complainer. That should free him up to dote on you when you’re sick. He’s gotta put his good attitude and energy somewhere right?
Posted by Anka | February 11, 2013, 6:36 pmPoor guy! In my house, I am the big baby. Is it still “Man flu” if I get it?
Posted by Jill Pinnella Corso | February 11, 2013, 7:55 amThat’s a tricky question Jill. I’m thinking if you cross a woman who acts like a baby when she’s sick with the Man Flu symptoms, I’d probably call that “Stroke of Genius!”
Posted by Anka | February 11, 2013, 6:39 pmLol. I’m a genius! I’ll take it.
Posted by Jill Pinnella Corso | February 11, 2013, 7:27 pm