I can’t draw. But I’ve become very skilled at wearing a smile. Even when I feel broken inside you won’t see me without a smile. I AM a professional mother and wife after all. It’s my duty to keep it together.
Let’s be honest, no one can remain THAT collected for long. There are days when your giving runs dry and you’re exhausted from trying to stay afloat. Well, yesterday, was one of those days. Whenever I get stuck in reverse and need some direction, I go to my place of refuge. This usually means sneaking off to a room to be alone with my music. Yep, I still revert to the same thing that helped me survive my teen years. MUSIC. Last night was no exception. I turned to Coldplay’s “Fix You” for deliverance.
Photo credit: flickr.com
Music does it for me. So much so that I have seriously considered creating a separate blog to showcase my immeasurable love for this art form. There are countless songs that bypass the cynical parts of my mind and pierce straight through my HEART. Coldplay’s lyrics, in particular, have been known to penetrate several layers deep. I feel like this song was written just for me. I must have pressed the repeat button at least ten times, and each time, I could feel more and more tension being released from my body.
You have no idea how happy I was to have fifteen minutes ALONE to recharge for a new week.
While I’m not completely “fixed” after my Coldplay session, I am on the mend. We all need fixing here and there, right? And, we all rely on different methods for relieving stress. Some people go for a long drive or curl up with a good book to take the edge off. I listen to music. Or, I have a richly blended Malbec to help me relax before bed. Though I often view wine as my double edge sword because I end up falling asleep by 8:00 p.m., which means I’m wide awake at 4:00 a.m. As for one of my dearest pals, she relies on EXERCISE to cure her blues. I’m hoping to join her in the P90X revolution very soon.
In the meantime, I’ll stick to my vice. Music.
How do you FIX your mood?
Music is definitely a stress relief for me to and even certain songs that are sad give me relief that someone else felt that way to. It’s amazing what a song can do to change your mood! I hope you’re all set to get in full forward motion this week Anka!!!
Posted by motherhoodisanart | January 28, 2013, 6:17 amI agree with you about music having universal appeal. Certain songs feel like they were written just for you. Sounds like BOTH you and your hubby are HUGE music buffs. As for getting a good start to the week, the answer is “YES,” I’m ready to go full speed ahead. My tank is full!
Posted by Anka | January 28, 2013, 7:12 pmI love that song!
I’m sorry you needed fixing, my friend! Is there anything I can do…even from far away? If I was there, I’d bring you some wine and press repeat for you.
My favorite music moments happen in the car. I loooooooove blasting music and singing at the top of my lungs!
Posted by mylifeisthebestlife | January 28, 2013, 6:31 amJust showing up here today is enough my dear! I always get HAPPY when I see your beautiful gravatar. I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t use a glass of vino right now. One day maybe we’ll be able to share that bottle(s) together?
Posted by Anka | January 28, 2013, 6:55 pmI hope that that’s true. I would love to meet you in person one day!
Posted by mylifeisthebestlife | January 29, 2013, 12:34 pmYes, of course, I hope we could meet one day in REAL life. If we ever make our way to the East Coast, we could make arrangements then. Or better yet, we should just plan a trip to Canada. My kids would love to see the snow!
Posted by Anka | January 29, 2013, 12:36 pmI also find this little corner of the world my music! I will be praying! It always passes… this will too! You are drawing your future and starting out with a smile is the best picture you could ever draw! Ya got a lot of prayers going up for you! Big hugs!
Di
Posted by coastalmom | January 28, 2013, 6:39 amWhat a lovely word picture, Di! “Drawing my future and starting out with a SMILE,” is an image that will resonate with me for some time. I can always count on you for a pick me up! You are such an incredible source of inspiration to us all!
Posted by Anka | January 28, 2013, 7:17 pmTEA… I don’t know what it is about a simple little bag of dried, crushed up leaves in hot water. But it instantly calms me down and makes everything seem more manageable. Have you tried 8tracks yet? It’s handcrafted internet radio… I think you would really love it, just sayin’
Posted by Amber | January 28, 2013, 7:30 amTEA is calming. On the nights that I don’t have a glass of wine, I usually have tea with a hint of honey. And no, I haven’t tried 8tracks yet. But I will now. Thanks, Amber! You’re always keep me caught up on the current trends!
Posted by Anka | January 29, 2013, 12:42 pmI saw Coldplay live at Wembley Stadium, London 4 years ago. They’re AMAZING live. I listened to fix you so much when I was unhappy I can’t listen to it now but I love it so. You should definitely write that music blog. I’d follow it for sure. I can’t live without music and it’s nice to know what others are enjoying so your repertoire evolves.
Posted by Nnena@NordicBLACK | January 28, 2013, 7:59 amI always imagined Coldplay to sound good live. Maybe one day I’ll be able to go to their concert. Music, in general, is so captivating. It has also cured many ills for me. Good to hear from you. Hope your week is going well my friend!
Posted by Anka | January 29, 2013, 12:31 pmchris martin is my secret crush! xxx
Posted by little poppits | January 28, 2013, 9:28 amWith good reason, right? He is one PASSIONATE man!
Posted by Anka | January 28, 2013, 6:59 pmI know, Gwens a lucky girl! xxxxxxxx
Posted by little poppits | January 29, 2013, 1:39 amI love music too…all kinds. You never know what will be playing if I’m ‘in a mood’. My favorite for energizing me is Celtic Fiddle music…go figure!
Posted by Gardengirl | January 28, 2013, 9:41 amYes, I suppose the ‘mood’ you’re in determines your choice of music. Though I’ve never listened to Celtic songs, I’m sure they have a strong rhythmic quality to them. Glad you found something that energizes you when you need it most!
Posted by Anka | January 29, 2013, 12:33 pmThat’s one of the best songs ever written. I retreat in music, in sports and in reading the Bible or praying, at least when I can quiet my mind.
Posted by Running from Hell with El | January 28, 2013, 10:07 amThat’s the problem I have, I can never really quiet my mind. Music seems to be the only thing that captivates my attention for an extended period of time. Hope you and your family are doing well this week. Thanks for stopping by, El!
Posted by Anka | January 30, 2013, 3:20 pmAbsolutely! Today my song is “Dog Days Are Over” by Florence and the Machine. It always makes me feel better.
Posted by stormdan | January 28, 2013, 11:18 amThe song “Dog Days Are Over” has been my anthem for some time now. Florence and the Machine is one of my favorite go-to bands. Their new album is just as good!
Posted by Anka | January 29, 2013, 7:17 pmI listen to Rameau’s Overature to Zaïs… It’s invigorating to say the least. I call Rameau the rock star of Baroque music! LOL!
Posted by pretemoiparis | January 28, 2013, 12:00 pmI haven’t scrolled through this composer’s work but I’ll take your word for it! I’m sure both you and your beau enjoy Rameau’s music. Mais oui?
Posted by Anka | January 30, 2013, 3:18 pmLove “cold play” too, I understand you, music too makes me feel better! lovely post!
Posted by now at home mom | January 28, 2013, 12:24 pmColdplay’s lyrics just do IT for me! Their words penetrate the deepest parts of my heart. Music is magical like that!
Posted by Anka | January 28, 2013, 7:02 pmPraying! I pray for you and all of us professional moms/wives! I’m definitely having a “Jesus, please fix it” kind of day. I describe it to my husband as a cloud over my mind. Music that turns me back to praising God…a nap…a walk…talking with a loved one…reading…these are some of my favorite things! My daughter is in a Sound of Music phase right now, hence the reference!
It is good that you recognized your mood and were able to get away for a bit to regroup and recharge. God knew I needed today to be still, so my little girl is asleep on my lap. My mom is playing cards with my L, who stayed home from school (strep throat). I got too caught up in the little things today because I don’t think I’ve been taking the big things to God in prayer enough. I feel bottled up and this time in silence and near solitude have been great.
Thanks for sharing this; you’re not alone, and we each need to keep reaching out to the ones who understand! –Alison
Posted by amphomma | January 28, 2013, 12:24 pmI can relate to that cloudy mind feeling too. It sounds like you got time to recharge and even gained some momentum. I always love hearing from you, Alison. You are so gifted at exhorting people. Thank you for your words of encouragement, they really resonate with me. Hope the rest of your week is going well. Talk soon!
Posted by Anka | January 30, 2013, 8:41 pmA long walk always does me good. Sometimes including music.
Posted by Jill Pinnella Corso | January 28, 2013, 12:53 pmLong walks are definitely therapeutic. It’s been a while since I’ve had THAT much time alone! Put me in your pocket next time you go. Promise?
Posted by Anka | January 28, 2013, 6:58 pmYou got it!
Posted by Jill Pinnella Corso | January 29, 2013, 6:38 amOutside. Under a tree. Tossing rocks into water. Or in water: swimming, river, lake. If I must at home, bath. And while you were struggling yesterday– I had a very tough week last week, and managed to pull it together this weekend and talk myself into “Next week will rock, goddammit, or at least not suck”… and first thing that happened? The package from you re: Real Deal! Yes! My daughter has appropriated the tiara, the T-shirt is awesome, and the card made my smile and tear up, and my day just got better and better. xoxoxoxo
Posted by nothingbythebook | January 28, 2013, 4:21 pmYay! I’m glad the package arrived. I was starting to think it would never make its way into your arms. I figured your daughter would lay claim to the tiara. She probably thought mommy has NO business wearing a tiara, right? Enjoy it my friend. You deserve all the goodness that comes your way!
Posted by Anka | January 29, 2013, 12:48 pmBeautiful post Anka!Straight from the heart!Whenever I feel torn I cook, or knit, or sew, or blog about it…
Posted by wonderlandbytatu | January 28, 2013, 11:12 pmGosh, if I cooked every time I felt down, my husband would be in heaven. He’d probably say, “Oh mom’s in a bad mood again. Great we’re having homemade lasagna tonight!”
Posted by Anka | January 29, 2013, 12:52 pmBath if it’s dark or sofa in the sunshine, hot coffee, total silence and a book.
If that’s not possible – a long drive to nowhere, loud singing and a Starbucks on route.
Hope you are feeling better today?
Posted by Piper George | January 29, 2013, 8:51 amI enjoy sitting in silence too. Though it’s hard to come by with little ones in the house. A long drive_ check! Starbucks on route_ check! You and I would get along very nicely. We both seem to savor the simple things in life. Namely, our quiet time!
Posted by Anka | January 29, 2013, 12:56 pmI know the problem with kids in the house. I run away and hide sometimes. Isn’t that why Disney was invented
Definitely – virtual coffee break anytime you want a gossip, or quiet company
Posted by Piper George | January 29, 2013, 2:15 pmI may just have to take you up on that offer, Piper. If I remember correctly, you like your coffee hot and black, right?
Posted by Anka | January 30, 2013, 8:35 pmYep – hot and black and with a large squidgy cookie to dip in it
Posted by Piper George | January 31, 2013, 2:50 amIt’s so great how soothing music can be to one’s soul. It can take us away or take us back to a moment in time. I personally make up my own lyrics most of the time, but would love to see more of your musical interpretations on here! Go for it! You don’t need another blog to do that!
Posted by littlemisswordy | January 29, 2013, 1:31 pmI would LOVE to hear your lyrics! I’m sure you’ve even managed to put a good beat to your songs. Miss creative! As for carving out a small slice on my blog for music, you’re absolutely right! I don’t have to create a separate blog for that passion. Music is a HUGE part of my life after all. By the way, I didn’t get a chance to reply to your comment from yesterday. Who would you rather be Thelma or Louise?
Posted by Anka | January 29, 2013, 7:24 pm“Fix You” is what I listen to as well. Also “Everybody Hurts” by Bodies of Water. And when I’ve had enough of feeling down in the dumps, “Go Insane” by The Doors.
Posted by rynnasaryonnah | January 30, 2013, 8:09 amHow could I forget The Doors? Morrison’s lyrics definitely LIGHT MY FIRE!
Posted by Anka | January 30, 2013, 3:15 pmHaha. “Take It Easy” is another mood lifter.
Posted by rynnasaryonnah | January 31, 2013, 4:21 amI can’t sing, so I listen to music!
Posted by Ellie at Emerald Pie | January 30, 2013, 3:28 pmThat makes the two of us, Ellie! Guess we’re fortunate to have other forms of entertainment. Like BOTH music and writing!
Posted by Anka | January 30, 2013, 3:33 pmDancing…but don’t tell anyone!
Posted by Kerry's Organized Chaos | February 3, 2013, 5:33 pmHey, how did this comment sneak past me? I LOVE dancing too. I’m guessing you dance alone or only in front of your children??
Posted by Anka | February 5, 2013, 5:50 pmYes! The Wii just dance is a helpful way to disguise it!
Posted by Kerry's Organized Chaos | February 5, 2013, 6:13 pmI wondered how Moms keep it together, lately. My hat is off to you, Anka!
(earbuds in!)
Posted by Charron's Chatter | February 5, 2013, 7:48 amHa! Thanks, Charron. Great word picture with the “earbuds in.” I think you just made my night!
Posted by Anka | February 5, 2013, 5:51 pmI use music as well – and comic books!
Posted by The Hook | February 24, 2013, 2:14 pmGotta say that I’ve never picked up a comic book to relax. Though I’m thinking it would definitely get my mind off of reality!
Posted by Anka | February 25, 2013, 6:00 pm